The custom among the brethren has been to acknowledge the government's role in provision of a marriage contract which, among other matters, protects inheritance rights.

• But, that being attended to, the couple appear before the assembly – and therefore before God – having earlier sought the fellowship of the brethren.

• This is an occasion for prayer and suited ministry as to the Scriptural thought of marriage.

• Many of the articles on this page are words given at such happy occasions and contain sound teaching and exhortations for all.

Sadly, the weakness of human nature and the wilfulness of the flesh open the way for the enemy's work of alienation.

• Thus the perennial questions as to divorce and re-marriage, of necessity, are examined in several articles.

• It is hoped that this will not detract from the positive setting forth of the the divine intent and ideal of marriage in the other articles.

G.A.R.

A question asked by the Pharisees – for the Lord had drawn nigh to Judea – gives rise to the exposition of His doctrine on marriage;

• and turning away from the law, given on account of the hardness of their hearts, He goes back to God’s institution,

• according to which one man and one woman were to unite together, and to be one in the sight of God.

• He establishes, or rather re-establishes, the true character of the indissoluble bond of marriage.

• I call it indissoluble, for the exception of the case of unfaithfulness, is not one; the guilty person had already broken the bond.
  • It was no longer man and woman one flesh.

• At the same time, if God gave spiritual power for it, it was still better to remain unmarried.

This permission, however, and this direction which recommended Christians to marry, was not a commandment from the Lord, given by inspiration,

• but the fruit of the apostle's experience – an experience to which the presence of the Holy Ghost was not wanting.

• He would rather that every one were like himself; but every one had, in this respect, his gift from God.

• To the unmarried and the widows, it is good, he says, to abide as he himself was; but if they could not subdue their nature and remain in calm purity, it was better to marry.
  • Unsubduedness of desire was more hurtful than the bond of marriage.

• But as to marriage itself, there was no longer room for the counsel of experience, the commandment of the Lord was positive.

• The woman was not to separate from the man, nor the man from the woman; and if they separated, the bond was not broken; they must remain unmarried or else be reconciled.

But there was a case more complicated, when the man was converted and the wife unconverted, or vice versa.

• According to the law a man who had married a woman of the Gentiles – and was consequently profane and unclean – defiled himself, and was compelled to send her away;
  • and their children had no right to Jewish privileges; they were rejected as unclean. See Ezra 10: 3.

• But under grace it was quite the contrary. The converted husband sanctified the wife, and vice versa,
  • and their children were reckoned clean before God; they had part in the ecclesiastical rights of their parent.

• This is the sense of the word “holy”, in connection with the question of order and of outward relationship towards God, which was suggested by the obligation under the law to send away wife and children in a similar case.

• Thus the believer was not to send away his wife, nor to forsake an unbelieving husband.

• If the unbeliever forsook the believer definitively, the latter – man or woman – was free; “let him depart”.

• The brother was no longer bound to consider the one who had forsaken him as his wife, nor the sister the man who had forsook her as her husband.

• But they were called to peace, and not to seek this separation, for how did the believer know if he should not be the means of the unbeliever's conversion? For we are under grace.

• Moreover every one was to walk as God had distributed to him.

The Lord help you both much. Begin with the Lord and He will end with you. With much love to you both.

Ever your affectionate friend, J. B. Stoney.

Seek communion with one another, your very failures will then, like Samson’s lion, be yielding honey;

• you will find what is of Christ in one another in spite of the failures, for nothing gives us such a sense that another is having to do with God as the simple confession of faults,

• and this sense will invigorate and give deep reality to your mutual affection.

• The one who knows me best, and who seeks out of real affection to correct my nature, gains a place in my heart, in my divine nature, that no flatterer could in any degree attain to.

• Be as two souls unreserved before God as to all that His Spirit is doing with you.

• Every confession you make to Him, every praise you render to Him, shrink not from communicating it to one another.
  • If either of you feel that you cannot do this, the greatest bond between you, and the spring of it, is gone!

• You may retain a unity derived from identity of interests, but it is not one established and confirmed by union in the Spirit.

• If two Christians are by marriage closer in earthly things and not closer in spiritual things, they are like Nazarites who have lost their hair!

My one word to you both is, cultivate spiritual intimacy, do not be satisfied with as much Christianity as will ease your consciences;

• seek to respect and to wait for one another’s judgment and feeling as to things before the Lord;

• in a word, seek to maintain communion whether it be in humiliation or in praise.

• Believe me, if you cannot tell one another of your humblings, you will never celebrate together your thanksgivings.

• What delight it will be to my heart to see you both in fervent love,
  • honestly confiding in one another before the Lord, learning the grace of the Lord in your mutual trials,

• and deepening in affection as you draw on that grace for one another.

It is a very few words I wish to say.

• What must be perfectly plain to all of us is that our pathway down here is marked out for us in this chapter.
  • The great point of the scripture is that you are to be here for God’s will.

• All of us have been here long enough for our own will, what we are to be here for now is God’s will.

• What has greatly altered the aspect of things here is that Christ has been here and Christ has been here for God’s will.

• One who was divine truly enough but at the same time One who said,
  • “I come … to do thy will O God”, Heb. 10: 7.

• The divine will has had its perfect expression here in Christ and that has materially altered everything here.

• The great thing now for the christian is to prove
  • “what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God”, Romans 12: 2.

In the previous part of the epistle you get the light by which we are practically educated. From chapter 3 to chapter 8 you get the light.

• In the school of God you are more than educated, we are formed by the light. It becomes the power by which not only everything is exposed but it forms us according to God Himself.

• The light is the revelation of God Himself. The revelation of God is light, that is how light has come to us in God revealing Himself to us perfectly in His grace and faithfulness.

• Up to chapter 8 you get the revelation of God to us in grace. God presents Himself to us in grace apart from the question of law, sin or flesh. God raises no such question.

• Sin and flesh exist in us and all of us more or less have been under the power of law but God raises no question on that ground.

• He presents Himself to man in Christ raised from the dead, i.e., on the ground of resurrection and raises no question on that ground.

• He presents Himself on the ground of grace when everything, sin and flesh, have been removed from before Him.

• It is a wonderful thing for God to have come in in grace and that is the first impression He makes.

• Christ has come in and everything contrary to Himself has been removed from under His eyes. He has now nothing to say to sin and flesh. He presents the order to form us in the life of Christ.

• There could be only one Man before God and that Man is Christ – the last Adam – the quickening Spirit. I only say that much as to the first part of the knowledge of God, that is grace.

When I come to the next – chapters 9, 10 and 11 – I find God makes Himself known in faithfulness.

• You get the dealings of God dispensationally and the restoration of Israel. I do not touch on that, I only refer to them as bringing out the great principles of light and the faithfulness of God.

• In making Himself known on the ground of the resurrection of Christ apart from sin and the flesh I get grace.

• In the next part, the dispensational part, I get the sense of His faithfulness. I think it is that light by which we are formed. And now the apostle says,
  • “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies”, etc., Romans 12: 1-2.

• Just one word let me say in regard to the beginning of this chapter. Two principles come out – the will of God and gift.

• These two points I touch upon for a moment, I can understand the will of God being proved in Christ.

• Christ has been here and we are set here really formed by the light of God in the knowledge of His grace and faithfulness. We are set here in the pathway of Christ.

• The will of God has been set forth in perfection in Christ and now the will of God is the pathway for us. Thank God it is not an untrodden pathway!

• When the Lord was here the pathway was untrodden. He was the beginning and the completion of faith. No one had trodden it before Him.

• Now we are set here to prove what is that good and acceptable will of God.

• Beloved friends, what a place we are in here! We are set here really to follow Christ in the fulness of divine light.

• Do you think you could follow Christ if your soul was not in the fulness of divine light? If it is in that light then you can follow the path He has trodden and that is God’s will.

Now the next point I want to come to for a moment is gift.

• Gift I understand to be that in which we can help man, by which we can be beneficial to man down here.

• When Christ ascended on high He had led captivity captive and gave gifts to man. Gift is that by which we can be beneficial to man according to God.

• Philanthropy is not a gift. You may do a great deal to benefit man as a philanthropist but not perhaps according to God.

• Gift, I repeat, is that by which I am enabled to be beneficial to man but according to God.

• What I argue from that is that every gift must be the expression of Christ.

• If gift is that which enables me to be beneficial to man it must be according to Christ. It was the case when He was here upon earth.
  • “Who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him”, Acts 10: 38,

• and every gift He has given is now the impression of Himself and also the expression of Himself. I should say that He forms gift by the impression of Himself.

• It is very important to bear in mind what we are left here for. We are left here for the will of God, to be the expression of what is beneficial to man.

• We are here by the will of God and by that will we are allowed to enjoy the gifts and mercies God has provided for His creatures here.

• By sin we have forfeited all title to anything but by the will of God and in the light of His grace we are allowed to enjoy His benefits for the creature down here.

• In that sense marriage and other things come in. But I must just say in conclusion there is a better thing and that is not to marry at all.

• But if a man consents to marriage he must be content to accept the fact that it will be God’s discipline to him. Many of us have proved it.

• As a christian if you form that tie you must accept the fact that God will use the tie in discipline. If it is in your mind to enter the tie you must accept the discipline.

• I allow the husband and wife may be great helps to each other in divine things; they can afford mutual support and the tie may be turned to the furtherance of God’s interests down here.

• But you cannot escape the discipline. I speak as one who has had experience of it. We have many of us had this experience.

• I do not speak as a theorist and that is my conclusion – you must accept the discipline.

But do remember there are two first principles.

• I feel it is such an immensely important matter, not merely to have a glimpse of that light but that my heart may be pervaded by that light in which God has been pleased to shine out to us.

• Then we can be here for God’s will and endowed with gift it may be, I may be beneficial to man according to God.

I only just say these things with the desire that the thought may be helpful to our brother and sister.

• I truly desire that our brother may be more devoted to the service of the Lord and that this tie may help him in that service, though that tie itself may be and must be the means of discipline.

• There is no tie down here that does not call for patience and grace and forbearance.

• Affection may be there and very real affection, too, but at the same time comes the call for patience and forbearance with one another.

All these things have part in God’s discipline for us, let us remember, and in our moral education down here.

Ques. As to marriage what do you think about it?

F.E.R. There should be none. It is not the time for it.

Marriage is the crucial point in the history of a man for good, or for evil.

• It may work disastrously or otherwise; experience has shewn us that often enough, and we have to look to it that it may turn to good.

Now my object is to seek to shew how marriage may connect us with what is eternal.

• It may become an occasion in the grace of God, for those bound together in marriage, of forming special spiritual links, which are beyond all that is present.

• There may be a result of marriage which goes beyond all question of happiness, or of natural joy in the present life.

• I think it would be well indeed if the natural were sacrificed to the spiritual, if present gain were sacrificed to the spiritual and eternal;
  • and if marriage be taken up in that light, I think we would gain great good from it.

Now you find Peter speaking to the husband and wife here

• as “heirs together of the grace of life”.

• That could not have been said to Adam and Eve, but now another element has come in, and husband and wife are “heirs together of the grace of life”.

• It is wonderful to look abroad in the world, and see the traces of the goodness of God still.
  • You get something of that kind brought out in the passage I read in Proverbs.

• You could not fail to see traces of the goodness of God in existing relationships: you see it in parents and children, and with husband and wife.

• While man on his part has become lawless, and turned to sin, yet you find certain traces of God’s goodness remaining.

• I think that is perfectly evident, and as I said, you get a wonderful picture of it in Proverbs.

• All that was of the wife, and all her doings, and energies, were to be contributory to the husband.

• Mischief began by the woman losing the sense of the head; she got on on her own understanding, and lost the sense of the head, and that has never been recovered.

• Now the great point evidently in regard of marriage is that the wife must be prepared to sacrifice her own individuality, and her own interests, and all that, and her part is to be contributory to her husband.

• She must not seek to glorify herself; she has accepted a head – for that is what is done in marriage, the man is the head of the woman – and her energies and her doings are to be contributory to the man.

In the care of the household, and the bringing up of children and all that, she is to be the glory of the man.

• She was not to shine in her own glory, the woman is the glory of the man.

Now when you come to christianity, what I want to point out is this: we do not stand properly in relation to this world,

• but we stand in relation to the living God, and you cannot connect the living God with a scene which is dominated by death.

• That is a point of the last moment to my mind. God stands in relation to a scene of life.

• He is the “preserver of all men”, I know, but the very idea of the living God is that He stands in relation to all that is life; and all that is of life stands in relation to a living God.

• If we accepted that, it would tend to separate us more in mind and spirit from the scene of death.

• We have to take up many things in connection with this scene of death, but at the same time, a man may be dissociated from the scene which is dominated by death, and we may all be conscious of being in relation with the living God.

• He has not yet come out publicly in that character, but when He comes out as the living God, the whole scene will be filled with life – it will be a wonderful day!

• Many of us have come to be fairly well content with this scene, when things are fair, but we have to remember that it is a scene dominated by death; no one can doubt for a moment that it is so.

• But if you have to do with the living God, He connects us with all that is of life, and all that is of life connects itself with the living God.

• The church is the church of the living God, and Christ is the living stone, and we, coming to Him as living stones, are built up a spiritual house.

• I believe it is a point of the last moment that God should give us some apprehension of the living God, and of all that stands in relation to the living God.

• In result all will take its character from the living God, He is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for all live unto Him.

• Abraham and Isaac and Jacob all stand in relation to the living God and the church is the church of the living God. I want us to recognise that more and more.

• If people give themselves up to present proprieties and the amenities of life, they are acting to a very large extent in the light of a world that is dominated by death.

• People are to a great extent governed by it, you can see it by their appointments, their homes, and in their dress – they make it manifest that they are more or less dominated by the scene which is under death.

• But what we want to make manifest in all that we are, and in the way too in which we carry out our natural relationships, is that we stand in relationship to the living God.

Now husband and wife are to walk together as heirs together of the grace of life.

• There was no question of their being heirs together at the outset, but it is a very important point now in regard to the marriage tie,
  • and the practical result is that spiritual ties are formed, which are not for time but for eternity.

• It is not a question of mere natural happiness, or of what is agreeable to us in this life, but as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered.

• I am sure it is a most important point to see, placed together in such close relationship as husband and wife, that there should be the formation of spiritual links which are connected with the living God.

• The relationship itself must of necessity come to an end with the life down here, but in regard to christians, God allows it to go on so that it might become the means of forming special and spiritual links which are for eternity.

• It is of all moment that our beloved brother and sister should take their light from Christ and the church.

• Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for it, and the church is subjected to Christ.

• So with the wife, she does not shine in her own light, but she is contributory to her husband, and the husband gives direction to his wife, he is head over her.

• I do not mean in the sense of lording it over her, but he brings in his influence in connection with all that is right, he directs her.

• And we who are husbands have to look to it that we lead our wives aright so that headship is seen.

Then the place of the wife is evidently that in the detail of life she is to be contributory to her husband.

• The great point is that the husband should go right, for then as a general rule you may say that if the husband goes right, then the wife will go right too.

• I believe if you trace it fairly you will find that the real reason why things have not gone right with many is that the husband did not go right.

• He is to take the initiative – he is to direct his wife, and she on her part is to be subject to her husband, and if they carry that out they will walk together as heirs together of the grace of life,
  • and will increasingly know what it is to stand in relation to the living God, and all that stands in relation to the living God is eternal.

• All that issues from the living God to us is what stands in relation to the living God, and which must therefore subsist eternally, because it has the blessed character of life in contrast to the death that dominates here in this scene of death.

• I would desire then that they might take their light from Christ and the church, and that they might stand in relation to the living God
  • not merely in future relation, but in present relation to the living God,

• and that their relation to one another as husband and we might be used to form those spiritual links which remain for ever.

When the marriage relationship is brought before us in Scripture the feminine side of it is made prominent,

• indicating that the spiritual features involved are intended to characterise the saints subjectively.

• Our attention has often been called on such occasions to the wonderful acting of God as recorded in Genesis 2.

• There is something, indeed, in the type which is far greater and deeper than anything that could be true of the Christian husband and wife.

• For naturally the wife is never of her husband in the same way that Eve was of Adam.

• But the assembly is of Christ in that way, and the Christian husband and wife are to take up their marriage relation in the light of this.

Eve was taken out of Adam, and the assembly is composed of those who are members of the body of Christ.

• We have a more intimate link with Christ than with the nearest earthly tie.

• Eve could have said, Every bit of me came out of Adam. She must have learned from Adam that she was of him:
  • “And Man said, This time it is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh: this shall be called Woman, because this was taken out of a man”.

• It is from what Christ has said in us that we know that we are of His body, and in union with Him. Paul says,
  • “This mystery is great, but I speak as to Christ, and as to the assembly”.

• Two persons becoming one flesh is a figure of this great mystery, and the Christian husband and wife –
  • the one in his love and the other in her subjection

• – are to take up their relationship in the light of it. It is a type of what belongs to eternal purpose.

Sarah is the next wife in Scripture connected with the faith line, and she brings another great spiritual instruction before us.

• It is not quite so elevated as the Eve type Sarah is a dispensational type in contrast with Eve, who is a type of what is in divine purpose.

• Sarah appears in Scripture as representing the system of grace as over against the system of law.

• She is “the free woman” in contrast with the maidservant Hagar; what is of promise and of Spirit comes in by Sarah.

• So that in connection with Sarah we learn to distinguish the speciality of the dispensation under which we live.
  • There will be no liberty in anything that we take up if we do not take it up as under grace.

• A sense of that will preserve us from any spirit of demand in our relations one with another.

• It is important for husband and wife, and for all of us, to walk together in liberty as under the great economy of grace.

• We are favoured to take up things as knowing God in His unmerited grace, and knowing that He can be counted upon as faithful to all that He has promised.

• And along with this there is the Spirit for power.

Peter exhorts husbands to dwell with wives

• “according to knowledge”;

• that is, they are both to understand the terms on which God is with them, and to act on the same terms towards each other. They will thus be
  • “fellow-heirs of the grace of life”;

• they are both to have part in this. And they must be careful that nothing is allowed to come in to take them off the line of receiving from God.

• They must preserve liberty of access to God in dependence upon Him for all they need. So Peter adds,
  • “that your prayers be not hindered”.

• God is always to be counted on, and that intelligently. Liberty in our relations with God lies at the root of happy marriage relations, and all other happy relations.

• If we take them up in natural power we shall break down, for when we deviate from liberty and promise, and the thought of receiving from God in pure unmerited favour,
  • we lose touch in a practical way with the Spirit, and then we have no power to move in acceptability to God.

• But as we go on according to knowledge and according to Spirit, we shall acquire likeness to Rebecca, who is the next prominent bride in Scripture.

In Rebecca we see a beautiful additional characteristic.

• Eve as a type connects with God’s eternal purpose; Sarah brings out His grace dispensationally;
  • but Rebecca sets forth those captivating personal qualities which are suitable to satisfy the affections of the heavenly Man.

• The particular feature which the servant looked for was a readiness to serve, and he found an unaffected spontaneity in this way that caused him to be astonished at her.

• All truth should work out in this way, whether it be the truth of the assembly or the truth of the dispensation of grace. It was Rebecca’s qualification to be Isaac’s wife.
  • She “let down her pitcher on her hand, and gave him to drink. And when she had given him enough to drink, she said, I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have drunk enough”.

• She was truly a woman of worth.

The marriage relationship taken up according to knowledge should give more scope for the spirit of service, for

• there are many things which a husband and wife can do which neither of them could do alone.

• Rebecca – meaning ‘noose’, or ‘captivating’ – sets forth in type the beautiful feature of willing service.

• Some – like Mary of Bethany – have been found ready to serve fitly at the right moment.

• There is nothing really greater than to serve with intelligent readiness when service is required, and when is it not required?

I do not think Rebecca acquired this aptitude in a moment.

• She could not have taken on this character so simply and unaffectedly if she had not been habituated to it.

• I have no doubt she had grown up in having delight in serving others.

• It has been said in the world that an act repeated becomes a habit, and a habit continued becomes a character. We can only acquire by steadily pursuing the line of the Spirit.

• Phoebe is a beautiful illustration in the New Testament of readiness to serve; Paul commends her as
  • “servant of the assembly”.

• There was no partiality with her, no personal favourites; she served the assembly. She was ready to help everybody; she had helped many, even Paul.

• The Son of man came to serve, and this feature is to come out in a feminine way in the assembly.

• How attractive is this feature to the heavenly Christ! It is the feminine reproduction of Himself.

• The spirit of Rebecca is to mark all who are of the assembly. May we all seek to be more characterised by this beautiful spirit of service!

• May God impress the lessons taught in connection with these three early marriages in an effective way, not only on the hearts of our brother and sister but upon all our hearts!

The account given in judges is not quite on the same level as that in Joshua; there it is rather the conqueror going triumphantly through –

• here it would be more on the line of continued conflict and conquest, not finality but steadily holding that position.

How encouraging for our young brother this evening in the new relationship he has taken up!

• Then for our sister, too, we have a beautiful type in Achsah of a vessel in subjection.

• As she came, she “urged him to ask” – what an incentive this would be to a brother to have a wife who urged him to pray!

• She would bring all her influence to bear to help him to become a man of prayer – although in quiet subjection to the principle of headship.

• This is how a married sister may take the lead, in urging her husband to pray.

“She sprang down from the ass”.

• Spiritual energy is indicated here, desire for further blessing.

• She had already experienced the joy of possessing the south land. She did not ask for more land. She did not need it.

When Othniel had conquered the ‘city of the book’ it became the ‘city of the word’ to him. The Word speaks of Christ.

• When God gave Christ He gave all, there is nothing to be added.

• Achsah knew this, she has spiritual discernment, so she asks for springs of water. She knew that the land would become barren and unfruitful apart from the supply of springs of water.

• It is possible for our inheritance to become dry and unyielding to us apart from the living springs of water in the Spirit. He alone can enable us to enjoy to the full our inheritance in Christ.

• Hence what privileges a sister may take up. Here is Achsah urging her husband to pray, seeking further blessing on territory already gained and receiving a full response.

In the case of Rebecca – rather a different setting – the vessel loses herself entirely in another, covers herself even from her head, and goes out of sight.

• But in Achsah, while she maintains perfect subjection, she moves forward in active affection in the energy of the Spirit.
  • “And Caleb gave her the upper springs and the lower springs”;

• the upper springs would suggest the region of the Spirit, where divine operations are continually carried on, and

• the lower springs would speak to us of the affections of the brethren, that circle of love where our spirits are so oft refreshed.

May our beloved young brother and sister know something in their new pathway of these experiences,

• the upper springs for spiritual wealth,

• the lower springs for mutual comfort and help amongst the Lord’s people.

And not only are divine Persons concerned about this matter, but all the saints are learning how the marriage relation is interwoven with their whole spiritual life.

• That “ye … be to another, who has been raised up from among the dead”, Romans 7: 4,

• is a thought which depends for its meaning on the marriage relation.
  • To be “joined to the Lord”, 1 Corinthians 6: 17

• is an individual application of the same thought.

• For each local assembly to be espoused
  • “unto one man, to present you a chaste virgin to Christ”, 2 Corinthians 11: 2

• is in view of marriage. And in Ephesians 5 the assembly is viewed as the wife of Christ; she has been brought to union.

• So that exercise as to the marriage relation touches us all; we are all called to have part in it.

It is a thought of divine love that there should be a natural relationship which serves to illustrate the relationship

• which will subsist between a divine Person who has become Man, and is now glorified,

• and the assembly as elevated by divine grace so as to be suitable for union with Him.

• We are privileged to view the present occasion in the light of this wondrous thought of divine love.

• The marriage relation is marked, on one side of it, by subjection, but without any thought of inferiority or disparity.

• The assembly being subjected to the Christ conveys no thought of a servile relation; it is subjection to the claim of an infinite love. And that is the model of wifely subjection.

Those who take up this new relationship today have the spiritual privilege of taking it up in the light of all the great thoughts of God with reference to it.

• The Lord would shed the lustre of all that is in His own mind upon the relationship.

• It is for those who take it up to realise the great favour of God which calls them to grace the relationship in a way that will honour Him, and lead to continuous rejoicing in Him.

• It is with that thought in mind that I have read the verse from Isaiah 61: 10.

• There is the sense of all that is good coming in from the hand of God; He is joyfully recognised as the Source and Giver of all that is fitting in relation to Himself.

• So that taking it up brings a joy comparable to the joy of the bridegroom and the bride.

• It is the privilege of our beloved brother and sister to take up this new relationship as God-given, and something intended to increase their joy in the One who has given it.

I think we see in this Scripture in a striking way how a bridegroom and a bride may take up their new relationship. We are told that

• “a bridegroom decketh himself with the priestly turban”.

• This suggests that his intention is to take up things in spiritual intelligence and dignity. It suggests that he has in mind the service of God.

• He stands prepared for priestly service in praise and in prayer. He is thinking of having a morning and evening altar in his new home.

• One could hardly think of anyone decking himself with the priestly turban in the assembly who does not wear it at home.

• On the side of mercy we have sung that ‘Our times are in Thy hand’ – Hymn 210 –
  • and in the assurance of this we desire that what is spiritual may predominate in the home and lives of those who are the subjects of our prayers today.

Then it is said that “a bride adorneth herself with her jewels”.

• Worldly adornments on such an occasion as this give the saints no pleasure; they lead to sorrow.

• But there are jewels of imperishable value as being God-given, and our dear sister has worn some of them amongst us locally, and we trust they will shine more and more for the comfort of saints in another locality.

We are thankful for the grace that has been upon our dear brother and sister in the past, and we look that this may increase, and that there may be distinctly more for Christ as the result of their marriage.

• May they so walk in this new relationship that God may be honoured, and that no cloud may come upon their spiritual joy!

My thought at this time is to call attention to the great contrast when we have the divine ideal of marriage before us. For that we must turn to Ephesians and Proverbs.

• Ephesians 5 gives the ideal husband, that is Christ,
  • and Proverbs 31 gives us in a figurative way the ideal wife, that is the assembly.

• We find then that, instead of marriage being a disadvantage and full of peril that leads to worldliness and not giving the Lord His rights,
  • if it is taken up spiritually in the light of the present truth, the husband and wife become mutually of the greatest advantage to one another.

• They do not seek to please one another, but seek the true spiritual advantage of one another. There is an immense difference between the two ideas.

In Epjesians 5 we get nothing about the activities of the wife; the chapter is full of the activities of Christ as the Head.

• In His service of love He does everything for the advantage of His wife. That is the model for every Christian husband.

• Christ seeks to do everything for the spiritual advantage of that company which He loves and for which He gave Himself.

When we turn to the model wife in Proverbs 31 we find that her activities are for the advantage of her husband.

• She is not on the low level of merely pleasing him, but on the high level of seeking his advantage in every possible way.

In Ephesians the service of Christ to the assembly requires subjection, not exactly to authority but to the service of love.

• As the assembly is subject to the service of Christ’s love she takes on the qualities of the woman of worth in Proverbs.

• She is passive in Ephesians, but the subject woman of Ephesians 5 becomes the active wife of Proverbs 31.

• She serves and lays herself out to minister to the spiritual advantage of her husband. That is the ideal marriage.

• We must realise the different level of 1 Corinthians 7 and come to the platform of that of which Christ and the assembly are models.

• Christ is everything for the assembly and the assembly is everything for Christ. In the working of it out everything that contributes to the advantage of the other is sought.

• Whatever Christ does is for the advantage of the assembly and whatever the assembly does is for the advantage of Christ.

• Think of the gain to Christ in having such a wife as the assembly, one who cares for His interests and seeks His interests in every way!

• That is the model our beloved brother and sister should pursue – the husband seeking to express the love of Christ to his wife and she brought into subjection to that love.

• Each believing husband should be set that his wife should have features of the assembly, and each believing wife should receive impressions and become active for the advantage of her husband.

• I would press on our brother and sister that it should be the keynote of their life to minister to the spiritual advantage of one another. Then all would work out happily.
  • “The heart of her husband confideth in her … She doeth him good, and not evil, all the days of her life … Her husband is known in the gates”.

• Every believing wife should be filled with a holy desire that her husband should be known in the assembly in spiritual worth.

• Then instead of marriage being a drawback and leading to the Lord not having His place, all the activities of the husband and wife would work together so that there would be great advantage and gain.

• The husband and wife would be better off in their relationship than out of it.

May the Lord put our beloved brother and sister on this lofty platform! We should covet and cherish the divine ideal in regard of these relationships. May the Lord help us!

Rem. They are taken up in the light of the economy of grace and of the assembly.

C.A.C. Yes, so you go back to the beginning.

• For a woman to have her head uncovered is a flagrant violation of the divine order; it is the giving up of divine authority altogether. See 1 Corinthians 11.

• When we see what is of God it puts us on a divine platform, as it were.

• You would not think of a spiritual person readily taking advantage of the Lord’s permission to divorce an unfaithful partner;
  • he would think of the original character of the bond.

• In Mark it is not allowed at all; in Matthew He does not allow it except for fornication.

• The law system dealt with man after the flesh; if he did certain things he would live, therefore certain things were permitted.
  • In the Old Testament we find saints telling lies and so on.

Rem. Christianity brought in power. In christianity a new thing is brought in.

C.A.C. As to the application of “one flesh”, we have,

• “He that is joined to the Lord is one Spirit”, 1 Corinthians 6: 17;

• that is another bond superior to the natural but which would govern everything in the natural.

• The highest instruction about natural relationships is in Ephesians and Colossians. It is not until the heavenly position is brought in that you get it; we should have thought it would be in Romans.

Rem. Paul handles the matter with the same delicacy in 1 Corinthians 7. All is touched in divine wisdom so as not to bring any into bondage.

Now I think we get an important indication here that if we come under the influence of Christ He will maintain in force that which God has originally instituted.

• It is a great and far-reaching principle that Christ will maintain in all integrity every institution of God.

• It is a great thing to be brought back to what is divinely instituted, and that is what is brought to pass if we come under the influence and teaching of Christ;
  • we are brought back to the true character of things as divinely instituted, and we are led to see there can be no departure according to God from the original institution.

• In connection with the question of marriage, no divorce is mentioned in Mark’s gospel. Divorce forms no part of the original thought of God.

Ques. Is the thought fully maintained in Christ and the church?

C.A.C. Yes, that is the suggestion. The bond between Christ and the church is indissoluble, and it is connected with the original, divine institution of things; God had that in mind from the beginning.

• If you think of Christ and the assembly, there is no thought of divorce.

• Governmentally Israel has got into the place of distance, but Jehovah has never departed from the bond; He remains faithful to it.
  • “The gifts and the calling of God are not subject to repentance”.

• The marital bond between Jehovah and Israel will be established entirely on the ground of Jehovah’s everlasting faithfulness.

• While Jehovah has governmentally set Israel aside, yet He has never removed her from her place in His affections; He has remained faithful.

• It is beautiful to see that the provision made under law by Moses was for man’s hard-heartedness. Now there was never any hard-heartedness with Jehovah towards Israel,
  • and there never could be in regard of Christ towards the assembly. It is an indissoluble bond.

• The great security and blessedness which we enjoy is in coming back to the original institution which it is impossible to change.

In Matthew divorce is permitted on the ground of infidelity to the relationship: that is the governmental side,

• but in Mark it is not said to be permissible.

• Christ would set us in the light of original institutions; all the relations between Christ and the church abide.

• Whatever the departure on man’s side there is none on God’s side – the thought of divorce is abhorrent to the heart of God and Christ.

• The principle of that should be ever retained in our hearts, even if we have on the line of government to exercise what is disciplinary.

• We are never to put a brother out of our affections though we may have to put him out of our company. The original bond remains and is never violated in the affections.

One can see the enemy’s attack on God in the general thoughts of marriage abroad today, the general tendency to loose the bond and make divorce easy.

• This is directly against the divine institution, and we all need to be safeguarded by coming under the influence of Christ.

• If you give up the divine institution you open the door to the incoming of every kind of evil.

Ques. Why, after the Lord speaking of what is “of Christ”, is the first question on the natural side?

C.A.C. I think because divine adjustment is called for in regard of natural relationships under the influence of Christ;

• the influence of Christ touches and adjusts everything divinely.

• The house is the place of intimacy where the influence and instruction of Christ are known privately amongst His own.

• The whole point is that purity of affection is required so that every sacrifice should be salted with salt.

Ques. Is Christ brought prominently before us in this question,

• “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother”?

C.A.C. Yes, we see in that that the assembly takes the place of precedence,

• so Christ has left Israel and kept to the assembly for the present, cleaving to His wife.

• Christ is absolutely entitled to the pure affections of the assembly.

Ques. If we are of the Christ is it not important that we should cherish the teaching of the Head and take character from Him?

C.A.C. Yes, that is exactly how the influence of Christ would express itself;

• it would bring about in us a very jealous and holy cherishing of the original thoughts of God which are connected with Christ and the assembly;

• so that the assembly should not be alienated from Christ but should be fully responsive to Him in those affections proper to the indissoluble bond.

Rem. At Ephesus there was secret decline before the outward manifestation.

C.A.C. Yes, the failure was in wifely affections.

• God is faithful to the bond as far as Israel is concerned, and Christ is faithful to the assembly, so our exercise is that we should not be unfaithful.

It is a great encouragement to return to the original character of things; that is the whole point in incorruptible affections.

• There is an incorruptible bond on His side and the Lord looks for the uncorrupted bond on our side, so that at the end of Ephesians it speaks of
  • “them that love our Lord Jesus Christ in incorruption”.

• The church epistle leads to that end; we have a company on earth preserving fidelity to the incorruptible affections proper to that indissoluble bond – it is beautiful to see Ephesians finishing on that note.

• While natural relationships are set in their original light here, great and far-reaching principles are unfolded in them.

Divorce is not permissible in Mark’s presentation.

• Mark has in view restoration.

• We have been noticing what a definite place restoration has in Mark’s gospel. Being a restored man himself, he is a suitable vessel for prophetic ministry to effect restoration.

• We see the unchanging character of things on the divine side, so if there is any movement on our side we are quite sure it will meet with full response on the divine side.

• It is very important to view restoration, and very encouraging for us. We have no hardness on God’s side.

H.H. I was wondering if you would say a word about marriage and divorce. You have just referred to it.

J.T. Well, it is left very vaguely, but there is enough here to satisfy any tender conscience.

• The subject is dealt with very vaguely, designedly so, in the New Testament.

• The instruction in the main is for the priests; the priest’s lips should keep “knowledge”, Malachi 2: 7.

• The priest does not have to tell everything; he does not have to relate openly all that governed him in his judgment, but he has an inward judgment.

J.C. Do you think this is to give us a wholesome fear as to that which we are coming to, as coming out of the maze, and coming into that which is in itself holy, so that these things should be taken account of in ourselves?

J.T. I think that is right. As regards the matter of divorce, as the world has become so impregnated with looseness,

• it is important that the saints of God should have a right inward knowledge of the mind of God.

• Scripture does not think it wise to be very explicit on this subject.

• Even the apostle Paul in dealing with a feature of it says, that it was his own judgment, and not the Lord’s; as if the Lord had conveyed to him that He was withholding His mind. 1 Corunthians 7: 12-25.

• It is a question of the spiritual state of people, so that you have no positive license for divorce in Scripture.

• You have the allowance of it somewhat vaguely in mercy, but not a positive license.

L.M. Would that be why the Lord said, “from the beginning it was not so”, Matthew 19: 8?

J.T. That is right; the Lord would put you back to the beginning on this point.

• But He gives a clue to those who are spiritual, it seems to me.

• On account of a low spiritual state it may have to be allowed, but it is not a positive law.
  • “All cannot receive this word”, the Lord says, Matthew 19:11.

J.R.S. Do not the righteous requirements of the law go deeper than the letter?

J.T. They do indeed! They are

• “fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit”, Romans 8: 4.

• It is the fulfilment of things that exemplifies them, and that is in those who have the Spirit.

• And so you often hear the inquiry, What do the brethren hold? But that is a false suggestion.
  • Brethren have no specific tenets at all;

  • it is a question of the truth, and every case has to be dealt with on its own facts.

• What we are speaking of is a question of priestly discernment, peculiarly a matter for the priests, whose lips keep knowledge and at whose mouths the law is sought.

F.S. Your concern is that we should be in accord with this, so that we may help those who are coming out of current religious organisations.

J.T. I think the Lord, in these chapters, would settle all these questions for any one who is subject.

Marrying a person known to be a believer, but not recognising fellowship is different, of course, but under certain circumstances not very different.

• If the person has had the light presented to him and persistently refuses it, such a union could not be “in the Lord”, and so would call for discipline.

• The discipline might bring out a state of rebellion which could be met only by withdrawal.

• There is always an underlying condition in such cases and the Lord will expose this if the saints are faithful in dealing with them.

• One faithful step after another, as seen in Matthew, leads to a result according to God …

I hope above remarks will be of service to you. With love in Christ to you and your house and to the brethren, I am,

Affectionately in Him, James Taylor.

Affectionately in Him, James Taylor.

Thus if the man in question is manifestly repentant – evidencing the work of God – I would say he should be free to resume his place in the fellowship of Christ’s death.

• I am encouraged to say so much because of divine compassion.
  • “All cannot receive this word”.

• Certain governmental restrictions will attend a brother in such a case.

• Such restrictions indeed always attach to persons whose conduct results in incongruous conditions – occasioned by the law, usually bankrupts and divorced persons.

• The Lord’s remarks are the more significant as they are reported by Matthew in whose gospel alone the truth of the assembly is given.

• But the instructions in Matthew 19 are stated in such a form as to condemn licence; it is compassionate as a provision meeting human weakness …

Affectionately in Him, James Taylor.

Affectionately yours in Christ, James Taylor.

Marital matters enter into this and our faithful Creator attached plain conditions which were to govern it,

• hence in reply to the question of the Pharisees the Lord refers to what was written as from the beginning.

• The other gospels furnish no relief from such restriction as the Lord’s remark conveyed, but Matthew varies; that is, when the disciples say to Him
  • “If the case of a man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry”,

• the Lord’s answer turns on ability to receive or not receive the word.

• The reference to eunuchs connects with 1 Corinthians 7: 7 – that is, what ability God has given or has not given in marital matters.

• Thus, while Matthew 19 and 1 Corinthians 7 allow – I should say rather barely allow – the marriage of divorced persons, restraint is apparent.

• This is in keeping with unusual withholding of certain instructions or commandments in 1 Corinthians 7, all referring to marriage.

• It is obvious that what is unanswered, left open or reluctantly granted, are intended to humble those involved.

You, dear brother, are one of these if you go forward with what is on your mind, and I am sure that as you and Miss ––– face the whole matter in the presence of the Lord and your brethren, you will not fail of the needed mercy in such circumstances.

• The Lord will not fail to do His best for you both, as in Mark 7, as you accept before Him as it is – I understand there were two divorces – the whole position.

You both will, I am sure, pardon my entering into so much detail as to the matter in question. I could hardly deal with it scripturally otherwise.

Affectionately yours in Christ, James Taylor.

I am very glad that you are exercised as to the matter and that your exercises are according to what I have said above.

• As you proceed on these lines I am assured God will help you and thus that there will be nothing to discredit the truth in which we have the privilege to have part.

• Lately I have heard of a marriage in —— which was reported to have worldly marks …

Affectionately in Him, James Taylor.

P.S. The ‘civil’ part of the marriage in these parts is usually at the City Hall or an officer comes to the house, then the fellowship meeting takes place at the meeting-room. J.T.

L.C.C. Are you suggesting that the inheritance should always have a place in our minds in this connection?

J.T. That comes in in Numbers, as we shall see.

E.S.W. Is it in your mind that Genesis 22 suggests that there is a family provided of God out of which wives should be chosen?

J.T. That is how the matter stands in Genesis. The sisterhood in the family of faith. Paul said that he had a right to lead about a sister as wife; a sister, then a wife. The patriarchs were marked by that, their wives were their sisters before they were their wives.

A.M.H. Is there a spiritual connection in this scripture in Nahor being a brother of Abraham, so that you would not have a spiritual person marrying an unspiritual one even in fellowship?

J.T. Spirituality is the thought in the family status, not simply nominal fellowship. A person may be nominally in fellowship without a spiritual status.

• At the same time, fellowship is most important, and if both persons are in fellowship the matter is accepted by the brethren, and they would recognise and commit themselves to it, unless of course there was some specific defect; and then the persons themselves should be concerned about their spiritual stature.

• Rebecca is introduced here to show us that God does provide beforehand for His people. If a brother is to be used in the service as a gift, it is a matter of great importance to God, and if he is to marry, it should be to someone suitable.

• Paul said, as I have mentioned, that he had a right to take around a sister as wife, as did other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord. Surely God would be concerned about a wife for Paul, if needed.

• The patriarchs' wives were their near relatives; the thought of sisterhood is there – and surely if God has given a man a gift. He thinks of him long ahead, and if he is to marry it should be to a suitable person; one who is prepared in that way.

• It is a matter of importance to God. He can do everything; why should He not prepare a suitable wife for a brother seeking one?

G.A.v.S. Has the Song of Solomon any reference to that when it speaks of a sister, a spouse?

J.T. It is Christ speaking there, "I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse", Song of Songs 5: 1.

• The principle before us is there, however.

W.J.H. Would Isaiah 61: 10 come in here, "a bridegroom decketh himself with the priestly turban"?

• He approaches the matter as thinking for God. If our younger brethren get that outlook in approaching the matter, there would be much more for God in marriages.

J.T. The "priestly turban" would certainly bring him into the attitude of prayer about the matter.

E.B.McC. Is it important to see the great concern of Abraham as parent in connection with the oath that the servant is made to take before he leaves to find Rebecca?

J.T. That is a great thing to consider, the parents' part in the matter. She was to be of the same family status; that was the chief point with Abraham, also that Isaac should not be taken to where she was, but she was to be brought to him.

• The brother has the leading position as before God, and the wife becomes subservient to that. 1 Corinthians 7 states that marriage must be "in the Lord".

Ques. You spoke of family status; will you tell us a little more what is in your mind?

J.T. We have been alluding to the fellowship. A person in the fellowship is qualified, unless there be some specific defect, but then there is more than fellowship; the family link, and there is spirituality.

G.A.v.S. Do those spiritual feelings depend upon how far the rights of God are paramount in connection with the matter?

J.T. Yes. The bridegroom decks himself with the priestly turban, which shows he is dignified in a priestly sense. The attire of the high priest involved his intelligence; he had a turban with a plate of gold on which was engraved "Holiness to Jehovah!" and his sons had high caps.

• So that the man is not only governed by his mind and conscience, his moral judgment, but he has access to God about the matter as in intelligence and dignity.

J.D.U. Would Abraham's part in it, as stated in Genesis 18: 19, come in:

• "For I know him that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of Jehovah, to do righteousness and justice, in order that Jehovah may bring upon Abraham what he hath spoken of him"?

• Does that come in in connection with the parental side?

J.T. If a man is to command his children after him, it would not only be his immediate sons and daughters, but his grandchildren. He would be concerned about their wives and husbands.

• Abraham dwelt in tents with Isaac and Jacob. He was concerned about his grandchildren, and he was at least a hundred and sixty years old at that time. He had carried on in this sense right through to the end of his patriarchal service.

G.A.v.S. Would that raise a question as to whom parents allow into their homes when their children are reaching a marriageable age?

J.T. It would, because affiliations should be made in the circle of the fellowship.

• There is a good deal of recognition of family status after the flesh, involving natural affinity. These things have to be watched, because at times persons are brought into homes, and their company is fostered because of natural affinity, whereas there may be no spiritual link. As to that, I am sure it is important to watch.

F.J.F. Might the parents be careless when the children are young?

J.T. Yes. Natural feelings often govern parents in these matters, and the results do not add to the testimony.

J.D.U. How far has the natural to be taken account of in relation to the family circle?

J.T. We have to take account of age. Disparity of age may occasion trouble. It was said of the daughters of Zelophehad, let them marry whom they please, him who is good in their eyes. So that we have to take account of the creative side.

• Although we may be spiritual, we never cease to be creatures of God, the thought of compatibility in this respect must be considered. It cannot be ignored, so parents should not influence children against their natural selection, because we must allow selection. They marry whom they will, but it must be "in the Lord".

• For a godly Israelite wishing to select a wife, they were a good field to make inquiry in. They spoke "right", Jehovah says.

L.P.M. Do you see it in the parents of Moses in that relation?

J.T. Yes, the father and mother were of the Levitical family.

F.J.F. Will you tell us what "in the Lord" embraces?

J.T. Entire submission to the Lord's authority, practically , not merely formal confession.

W.J.H. Would it include 2 Timothy as part of the Lord's commandment, in that we are enjoined to separate from what is to dishonour?

J.T. Just so. How can you seek a wife amongst the sects? Not that I am speaking against them, but the fellowship forbids it.

• You say. They are Christians, but what is involved in the word Christian? The disciples were first called Christians at Antioch, but they had been added to the Lord, not simply a company of disciples.

• Barnabas and Saul had to do with their instruction as believers, so that we may be sure the authority of the Lord was received into their souls; hence anyone presenting himself or herself to be in fellowship amongst them must recognise the Lord's rights; he cannot belong to a denomination formed by man, where the Lord's authority is not owned.

E.S.W. The scripture referred to in 2 Timothy speaks of those with whom we walk, and we should have no lower standard for a wife than those with whom we walk –

• "those that call upon the Lord out of a pure heart", 2 Timothy 2: 22.

G.A.v.S. Does "in the Lord" involve that there is a definite exercise as to coming under the direction and control of Christ, in view of such an important step? Does it indicate that we are subject to the divine will in connection with such a union?

J.T. It is so in every relation. "In the Lord" governs every relation of Christian life, and particularly the marriage relation. How can a marriage be "in the Lord" when one person is not in the fellowship?

Ques. Would the mixed marriages referred to by Nehemiah come in here?

J.T. Quite so. Mixed marriages are one of the outstanding occasions of sorrow amongst the brethren.

A.E.M. You spoke of those in fellowship as potentially suitable to one another, except where a defect exists. Will you say what is in your mind?

J.T. A person may be in the fellowship, but only in it in a restricted way. At Thessalonica the apostle pointed out that if a man did not work he should not eat. If he did not acquiesce in all the apostle wrote, they should shrink from him.

• I referred to anything like that, anything that disqualifies a person, restricts him in the fellowship.

A.E.M. Have you not found in your experience that careless door-keeping has allowed persons to come in that are dangerous in that way?

J.T. Indeed. When they are in you have to wait for a specific cause to withdraw from them.

• But anything like that would be the exception, normally those in fellowship are potentially suitable.

• It is mainly a question then for both of the persons to decide before God whether they are equal spiritually, whether one would detract from the other.

A.L. Is it not in view of the continuance of the family?

J.T. The seed is to be wholly right. I know that is to be carried forward to a spiritual level, but 1 Corinthians contemplates that the children of believing parents are holy, that is, holy in an external way, not essentially; but their parents are holy as under God.

• He has had to do with them. These things are before God, and God comes into all of them, hence the importance of spirituality, because that in the parents is sure to enter into the constitution of the children in an influential way.

P.L. Do Aquila and Priscilla suggest that spiritual affinity which finds them in one yoke, one "neck" in the testimony?

J.T. That is to be continued in character as exemplary of what we are speaking of. It has been pointed out that they are mentioned six times in scripture: Aquila first three times out of six.

• They are viewed on an equality, although she is a subject woman.

• The Spirit of God mentions Aquila first three times, and Priscilla first three times. A very remarkable fact, and Paul's allusions to them bear out that they were suitable to each other.

W.R.W. Is "in the Lord" suggested in the salutations in Corinthians – Priscilla and Aquila salute you in the Lord?

J.T. Just so.

F.I. In the case of husband and wife finding something unsuitable in one another, would we say it is a marriage "in the Lord"?

J.T. It requires very keen discernment to pass judgment on such a marriage. There may be certain variations of temperament in husband and wife that God may use for discipline.

• That is another thing God may provide – a wife for a brother who is to be distinguished in the testimony; perhaps he may be a strong-minded man and she may have a difficult temperament, and may become a rod for her husband. This is no disparagement of a wife.

• God's discipline is used to bring out the works of love and self-judgment in the saints.

• Then we have several instances of marriages in the Scriptures where a wife was more spiritual than the husband, and where he scarcely comes into the position of spirituality at all. Take Manoah the father of Samson, he was not equal to his wife. Divine communications came primarily to the wife.

L.P.M. Also Elkanah, the husband of Hannah.

J.T. That is another example. There are several instances; the husband of the Shunammite woman scarcely qualifies as a husband of a spiritual woman, but still God worked out His thought.

• Nevertheless, in these cases I should not like to pass judgment too readily, because room has to be made for the exceeding grace of God.

Ques. Was not Job's wife used as discipline for Job, and in James we are told that the end of the Lord is reached in relation to Job?

J.T. A good illustration, so that if persons are in fellowship and unless there is something of a very extraordinary nature in the wife or husband, we should not discredit the marriage.

F.I. You could not apply that in relation to one who married one not walking in the fellowship?

J.T. I think it should be laid down that a person not in the fellowship is not suitable as a wife or husband of one of the fellowship. It is a mixed marriage, and ought to be so named.

• If priestly admonition is applied, priestly investigation having been made, and the person in fellowship refuses to listen to the brethren, it seems to me that such are disqualified for the fellowship.

F.I. Would such an one do damage not only to himself, but to the assembly also by his action?

J.T. Yes. He is carrying the inheritance outside the tribe to which he belongs.

F.J.F. Would such a person have to be withdrawn from?

J.T. That is what I think. Great priestly care would be employed in the way of admonition and pointing out by spiritual instruction that the course is lawless: no other word should be used. It is a lawless course.

• He may not think it, and maintain the plea that the person is a Christian; but it is a lawless course, and if that is brought to his attention carefully and graciously he should be convicted; but if he refuses he is lawless. He is disregarding the word of God as to marriage, and he is refusing to hear the assembly.

S.E.E. You do not make a difference between a brother or sister?

J.T. They should be dealt with on the same principle.

G.A.v.S. Both stand in relation to the law of God.

J.T. It is a question of 1 Corinthians 7, only "in the Lord" is a brother or sister free to marry whom he or she will, and that implies the fellowship.

S.E.E. Would you make a difference in the case of a person not committed to the fellowship in the breaking of bread, yet who is attending the meetings?

J.T. If one is not breaking bread, why is this so? It is disregarding the Lord.

Ques. Is it a serious matter in such a case to extend limited fellowship in a private prayer meeting?

J.T. I do not see how the fellowship is thus maintained. If you look into the matter and analyse it, you will find lawlessness underlying the position.

• A couple who are Christians entering into marriage and whose faces are in the direction of the fellowship, although not breaking bread, is another matter. I should be free to join in prayer with them.

• The sons of Joseph take counsel here themselves. Numbers 36: 1-4. That is to say, the brethren in this matter have to consider for the inheritance, and a mixed marriage is going to weaken our inheritance, taking what belongs to our tribe to another.

• Where one of the persons is not in the tribe as a sharer in the inheritance, the position of the locality is weakened by the marriage, for one of the persons is not in the fellowship. The matter is detracting from the fellowship. It is robbing us.

Ques. Would they be vessels to dishonour?

J.T. It would amount to that.

J.D. Nehemiah 10: 28-30 says, "And the rest of the people, the priests, the Levites … and all they that had separated themselves from the peoples of the lands to the law of God, their wives, their sons and their daughters … joined with their brethren, their nobles, and entered into a curse and into an oath, to walk in the law of God, which had been given by Moses the servant of God, and to keep and do all the commandments of Jehovah our Lord, and his ordinances and his statutes; and that we would not give our daughters to the peoples of the land, nor take their daughters for our sons". Has that a bearing?

J.T. It has. It bears on what we are saying as to the things the brethren arrive at in their counsels on a particular case – how the fellowship may be affected.

F.W. Would what has been said have a bearing on the attitude of the saints towards a brother engaged to be married to one not in the Lord? Should there be action when a person becomes engaged, rather than wait until they are married?

J.T. Of course an engagement is not binding in the law of the land. It is not marriage, but still when a definite link has been formed, that is the time to take initial steps; only to act finally on the matter before marriage may weaken our position. The circumstances would guide, but the marriage is the full act of lawlessness.

S.E.E. There have been cases which could be cited where such a marriage has taken place, the brother walking happily with us, and has married one not walking with us; no action has been taken and his wife has become a good sister.

J.T. The over-ruling grace of God has come in, but that does not clear the brethren.

• The Lord is drawing attention to this matter; He is stressing that investigation should be made and admonition administered, and for a person to refuse to listen to exercises on these lines makes him unfitted for fellowship.

• The more you deal with a person who refuses to hear his brethren, the more lawlessness comes to light.

S.H.B. It has been taught amongst us that one engaged has made a vow which is inviolable.

J.T. That is important – an engagement vow has been made; can it be broken?

• We will suppose that a person who has made a vow is in fellowship, and he is convicted in his conscience that he has done wrong before God in linking himself with a person unequal to him spiritually; were he to go to the person and lay the whole matter before her, would not God come in for him?

• There are ways to approach these difficulties. It is more than likely that the other would release him, or be convicted herself. You cannot in this way break a bond in marriage, but it could be done in an engagement if the two are agreeable.

A.E.M. Would you say that the responsibility of the brethren goes back really further than the question of engagement, in that we have to see that the teaching of this is to be before young people – before their natural affections are engaged?

J.T. That is a very important thing as to instruction in families. Some families are brought up as prohibitionist, and they have a conscience on that line, and it is supposed that that conscience must not be offended, but it should never be there.

• Instructions as to temperance should, as the truth, be in the family, for every creature of God is good, being sanctified by the word of God and prayer, 1 Timothy 4: 4-5.

• So as to marriage, mothers and fathers are responsible to instruct their children before they come to the age of marriage. God will help us; any effort on that line will bring God in. Why should a young brother seek a wife not in fellowship? Has he been properly instructed?

A.W. With regard to the children of the saints being holy, how is it so many of them are lost to the testimony?

J.T. Largely because they are not brought up properly. We admit other things for them than what divine teaching enjoins.

W.J.H. The death of the widow's son reminds the mother of her sin, and Elijah restores him consequent upon this. 1 Kings 17: 17-18.

A.W. You fall back on the mercy of God.

E.S.W. The question of the sovereignty of God should not be lost sight of. It is a matter of the sovereignty of God if some are lost or saved.

J.T. The sovereignty of God can be counted on, but then there is the parents' watchfulness. How unfaithfulness in parents has contributed to what is in households!

W.F.S. If that is brought before a young person, and he or she has not hearkened to the instruction of the parents or the brethren, what would be done then?

J.T. Deuteronomy 21: 18-21 contemplates such a condition.

A.E.M. While we are speaking of cases of those lost through mixed marriages, are we not losing many young men through the universities or higher education?

J.T. Indeed we are, and the question often comes up in one's mind – why do parents send their children to universities? Is it solely that their children should have a means of livelihood? or is there a fleshly thought of having distinction in the family?

E.S.W. What you mean is that the question of motive must come into view.

J.T. I am not judging the brethren, because very many brothers have gone through university courses.

• I am only speaking now as to motives. Why are they sending their children to institutions where the enemy has a big advantage?

J.D.U. Baptism would beget exercise as to this matter.

J.T. Yes, that we should be consistent with it as to our houses.

W.J.H. Would you say a word regarding a situation that frequently arises. Persons having marriage in mind, or for other reasons, formally withdraw from us so as to reach their end. Some feel we should accept this; they leave us, as scripture says, "they went out".

J.T. I do not think such conduct should be let off in that way. The assembly is to reflect the judgment of heaven, and the person who has come nominally into fellowship has been recognised in that way in heaven, and there must be some balance to that.

• He can never be what he was before he came into fellowship; if he goes out there is something that has been recorded against him in heaven and the assembly should reflect that; and it seems to me the more you look into such a case the more evil you will find.

• It will often lead to other things. Investigation should be made of every such mention of going out of fellowship. It is apostasy in principle, it is not a light matter.

• They may not think so, but those of us truly in the position know that it is so, and it should be brought to their attention, and the more you investigate the case the more it will appear that lawlessness is at the bottom of it.

A.M.H. Is it departing from the living God?

J.T. "If any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him", Hebrews 10: 38.

• It is in principle apostasy. Why should we allow that to pass without a judgment?
  • "God has judged your judgment", Revelation 18: 20;

• why should we not have a judgment?

L.C.C. Does not the Lord allow the thing to be brought up before the brethren generally so that the individual and the brethren might be helped?

J.T. Quite so, a rebuke before all that others may fear.

C.A.I. What would be the consequent attitude of the brethren towards such an one?

J.T. They go from us and draw back. We should, as judging the matter, regard them as under assembly judgment.

E.S.W. How far should we be governed by Leviticus in relation to marriage?

J.T. It is remarkable how clearly scripture establishes its principles. In Leviticus 18, marriage in a variety of ways is prohibited. That ought to be observed in relation to our subject.

J.S.D. What would you say where the law of the land goes beyond Leviticus 18?

J.T. I should go by scripture. The law is in the hands of the priests, so that as priests we are custodians of the law.

• It is a question of spiritual judgment; the letter kills, the Spirit gives life. It is a question of priestly judgment in all cases.

• Leviticus 18 gives a list of persons who are not to be linked in marriage; we can only understand scripture by the help of the Spirit of God. It is quite right, of course, to discuss what scripture says, and the Lord never leaves us in the dark; He says that
  • "the scripture cannot be broken", John 10: 35.

• In the types we have what is entirely spiritual; the priests, those guided by the Spirit of God, know generally what scripture teaches on any matter. Malachi 2: 4-7.

• Then 1 Corinthians 7 distinguishes between the commandment of the Lord and spiritual judgment in marital matters, and admits the importance of the latter as to points concerning which scripture is silent in a literal sense.

R.T. As to our attitude towards a young man coming to the meeting but not breaking bread, should he be invited to our homes?

J.T. If he is a likely case you try to help him. He should not be encouraged to enter into relationships in the household until the spiritual matter is settled. It is a matter of spiritual equality, not natural equality.

• The types govern these cases and the Lord would have us have recourse to the temple in considering them.

F.W. In regard to persons who grow cold and keep away from the meeting, what should govern us in regard to them? They may not have committed themselves to evil and yet are not coming to the meetings. I think you said that those that did not keep the passover were cut off amongst the people of Israel.

J.T. That is what I think. A specific law governing the case is Numbers 9: 13.

F.W. Does it involve an assembly meeting?

J.T. Certainly; you will find other things if you investigate carefully.

Ques. Is such a wicked person?

J.T. If he refuses to respond to the authority of the Lord, what is he? A lawless person is a wicked person.

W.J.H. In a city like this, when a meeting of assembly character is called to deal with evil, often not more than a quarter of the brethren can come, but the Lord generally helps and a judgment is reached and we never hear any more in a public way.

• Some feel that does not provide for others who cannot be present to be exercised, and yet we have hesitated to extend the matter.

J.T. Why are others not present?

W.J.H. Partly because they are unable to come, and frequently the room in which the meeting is held cannot hold those who otherwise might be present.

J.T. Absence at such meetings is often regarded lightly, but this is humbling, all should be present.

H.D.T. Is there anything wrong in principle in a report being given to the saints of what has taken place at the assembly meeting? – the assembly meeting finalises a matter.

J.T. There is nothing wrong in principle, only it should be accompanied by some admonition to those who were not present!

A.M.H. The main difficulty is to get a room large enough with the necessary privacy.

J.T. I have observed that an assembly meeting called after a fellowship meeting is very effective. Most of the brethren are generally there and the matter is settled.

J.S.G. How would you arrange for those not breaking bread?

J.T. Ask them to withdraw.

Ques. Is there an obligation on all the saints to be present?

J.T. It is an obligation; all ought to be present.

Ques. Would a representative from each meeting in the city be right?

J.T. There is no suggestion in 1 Corinthians 5 of representation. The apostle does not say "the whole assembly", but how could you be in Corinth knowing that such a meeting was being held and fail to be present? It would be your obligation to be there.

P.L. "They were all with one accord in Solomon's porch", Acts 5: 12.

N.B.S. A discipline meeting need not necessarily be very long. Would 1 Corinthians 14 bear on such a meeting, and would two or three words be necessary?

J.T. You are contemplating an assembly meeting for discipline and the bearing of a prophetic word at such a time.

N.B.S. We wait upon the Lord for a word which would help the judgment of the saints. Sometimes a number of brothers refer to scriptures. I was thinking that we should be ready to accept a prophetic word.

J.T. Three would be ample, two more suitable, and perhaps one most suitable. Cumbersomeness should be avoided in such a meeting. 1 Corinthians 5 and Acts 5 indicate the opposite of much length. Of course patient investigation by brothers precedes the assembly meeting for discipline.

A.M.H. I suppose it is a matter of witness, laying out the particulars of the case. I gather that all that should be done at the care meeting and one person is sufficient to give a summary of what was given to the care meeting.

J.T. One hundred brothers in Sydney look into a matter, and investigation is made; one brother well known states the case to the assembly, and another confirms it.

• I have no objection to a second, but I would accept what the one brother said. If it is not in accordance with facts the brethren, being present, would say so.

A.E.M. Would you regard the care meeting as arriving at something definite in connection with such a case without taking on judicial function, or is it that the brothers in a city get the facts and then wait for something from the Lord?

J.T. The whole matter is tentative until we reach the assembly; but the brother who states the case would convey what the brothers in care have determined should be brought before the conscience of the assembly; then a word conveying the mind of God from the Scriptures aids the assembly in its judgment.

• James says, "I judge", Acts 15: 19,

• and the assembly endorses what James said. Peter and he had set out the mind of God in the matter.

Ques. If a scripture has been read to govern a position, and another scripture indicates a different line, how would you meet the position?

J.T. It is a divided state which should never exist.

S.E.E. Should a matter be brought before the assembly for judgment before brothers in care had reached a conclusion?

J.T. Acts 15 says that the apostles and elders came together to consider the matter. If anyone has anything that should be brought before such a meeting, he should state it there. In the multitude of counsellors there is safety. Proverbs 11: 14.

• If we are subject to the Lord and to one another, we shall arrive at the truth, and the brother or brothers who present the matter to the assembly will, as dependent on Him, be helped of the Lord to convey the mind of God and so a true judgment will be reached.

A believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, who professes to be guided by the holy Scriptures, would be careful to avoid a position which would be acceptable to an unbeliever.

Let us see what the Scriptures say about having children.

The original mandate for Man (man and woman as united) is in Genesis 1: 27-28 and has never changed:

• "And God created Man in his image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them; and God said to them, Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the heavens, and over every animal that moveth on the earth."

The principle of responsibility in having children is in Genesis 18: 19:

• "For I know him that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of Jehovah, to do righteousness and justice, in order that Jehovah may bring upon Abraham what he hath spoken of him."

The possibility of not having children and how it affects the woman in particular is in Genesis 30: 1:

• "And when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister, and said to Jacob, Give me children, or else I die."

The continuation of the Passover – and for us the Lord's Supper – is anticipated in Exodus 12: 26:

• "And it shall come to pass, when your children shall say to you, What mean ye by this service?"

The place of children in serving God is in Deuteronomy 29: 29.

• "The hidden things belong to Jehovah our God; but the revealed ones are ours and our children's for ever, to do all the words of this law."

The blessing of having children is in Psalm 127: 3.

• "Lo, children are an inheritance from Jehovah, [and] the fruit of the womb a reward."

The responsibility for the continuation of blessing is in Proverbs 13:22.

• "A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children; but the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the righteous [man]."

The Lord Jesus recognized the value of children in Luke 18: 15-17.

• "And they brought to him also infants that he might touch them, but the disciples when they saw [it] rebuked them. But Jesus calling them to [him] said, Suffer little children to come to me, and do not forbid them, for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say to you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein."

The apostle Paul recognized the value and place of children in the testimony three times.

• 1 Corinthian 7: 14: "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in the brother; since [otherwise] indeed your children are unclean, but now they are holy."

• Ephesians 6: 1-3: "Children, obey your parents in [the] Lord, for this is just. Honour thy father and thy mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest be long-lived on the earth."

• Colossians 3: 20-21: "Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing in [the] Lord. Fathers, do not vex your children, to the end that they be not disheartened."

In the ordering of God, having children is both a responsibility and a privilege, in which the support and blessing of God may be expected.

• It is a joy to watch children grow physically and mentally, and especially to see them coming – as expected through their baptism – to trust in the Lord Jesus as their Saviour, and become committed to the will of God and the great present truth of Christ and the assembly.

• And the great comfort of young ones to those of us in our old age cannot be over-estimated.

G.A.R.